The Best Thing I never Had by Amak

This week's Ponder of the Week was 8 fluid ounces of "Tilt" by Anheuser-Busch. At $3.00 a can, I paid way too much for this malt beverage. At a 12% ABV, you would think I was getting a quality deal. 

"Quality" was probably the last thing I thought of when tasting "Tilt." From what I've gathered, "Tilt" was a product of the whole "alcoholic energy drink" craze, most notably the "Four Loko" drinks. The  Anheuser-Busch had removed the caffeine from "Tilt," but boosted the amount of alcohol instead. So combining the high amount of alcohol with the high amount of sugar, it can mess you up pretty bad... granted that your taste buds weren't working.

I started by pouring the murky, purple bile into a pilsner glass and checked the temperature at 36℉. Most notable was the lack of head. Virtually nothing appeared accept for a small fizzy bit that would be typical of pouring a soda. Also, similar to a soda, there was some sparkling carbonation in what one local bar owner described the clarity as "damn near black." I would say there was a bit of a purple hue to the body as well, typical of a drink who's flavor is actually called "Purple." It had a very artificial sweet aroma. I would describe it as a mix between soap, perfume, and black licorice. Grape and possibly a hint of molasses is what you would describe the taste, but if you can imagine pouring a bottle of grape cough syrup into your beer then drinking it, you would have an idea of what "Tilt" tasted like. The initial flavor had a heavy, tart sweetness that finished with a mild sourness. It left a very syrupy aftertaste around the middle of your mouth.

So, what have I learned from drinking "Tilt?" Well, for this drink to be most effective, I recommend chugging it as fast as you can before you have a chance of tasting it. Shotgunning it might actually be a nice solution. Otherwise, you'll feel like throwing up just from sipping on it. I wouldn't recommend "Tilt" if you're looking for anything remotely tasty, but if you're the type of person who wants to get wasted in under a minute for $3.00, then "Tilt' just might be the drink for you.